Now is Anglo-Saxonite new year but Whingy cerebrate Chinese Year of Pig. Large lard-laden porker touted as good luck by vegetarians but I proclaim pig is mostly unlucky in nation of bacon-eaters.
To make piggy truly lucky this year swine enthusiasts must stop eating pork ingredients now! But on other ham, Whingy worry for cows on the run from hungry carnivores who disdain pork dogs to chow down on moo meat for pig year.
(Whingy spend formative boyhood as Kowloon cowherd.)
What? You have no salad?
Enjoy leafy miracle of kale for successful digestion proceeds!
Hands off Porky!
~ Whingy Illustration by Henrik Drescher
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