Doubting Thomas Reduxed!

Consternations concerning Kavanaugh circumstance of his abomination to court of last retort (aka Supreme Final Decision-Making Place of No Overturning Unless Sometimes) remind Whingy of Clarence Thomas examination inspiring poem of ridicule Whingy create for special nominational occasion:

Me name Clarence
Me make joke,
Me put pubic hair on your coke

~ Whingy Illustration by Henrik Drescher
© All Rights Reserved

Global Demagnetization!

N ow that global warming completely out of control, Whingy relieved of concern while stocking up on ice cubes!

Whingy now sound alarm blat for new environmental catastrophobia:

Global Demagnetization!

Do you not observe your refrigerator magnets losing adhesion? Only last fortnight when Whingy selecting extra pepperoni for diet pizza does refrigerator door slamming result in Bovine Cow magnet falling to floor!

So long!

It's been good to know ya!

I fear for floppies!

Magnetic data become misconvenient untruth!

Whingy speculate Earth’s core weaken magnetosphere due to Trump presidency. So Fox almost News and Tea almost Party not be only mongers of rumor town!

Whingy now change adhering preferences to Scotchy Tape!


Earth is losing magnetism!
Magnets losing magnetism
Florida Appears to Be Losing Its Sunny Magnetism
Frequently Asked Magnetic Questions
Earth's north magnetic pole is shifting and weakening
Sloshing Inside Earth Changes Protective Magnetic Field
Ships' logs give clues to Earth's magnetic decline
Cow Magnets!
Magnets Inside Cow!

~ Whingy Illustration by Henrik Drescher
~ Magnets illustration by ?
© All Rights Reserved

Book Barbecue!

So, who need books anyway?

Bookstores close faster now than Toyotas with stopping exacerbations!

Whingy owe personal enlightenment to Lao Tzu’s elder brother, Wahoo Tzu, who scribe introduction to sutra commentary advising print readers to preempt examination of letter text with eyeballs and burn book.

Whingy follow Wahoo advice and become transmogrified! Now Whingy burn all books before reading for convenient dismissal of knowledge and barbecue seasoning.

Better than smoke of hickory!

~ Whingy Illustration by Henrik Drescher
© All Rights Reserved

Whingy In Love

Whingy blog enthusiasts always want to know about love life but reluctant to request data, so pay attention! I tell you now!

Whingy have girlfriend named Pa-Chi Phogg who is tall but not too tall so she can look up to Whingy with admiration for his extra inches of altitude.

Pa-Chi is weathercastress at diminutive public television station in Orange County, Calipornia. Whingy fall in love when first see her on PBS, which is Whingy’s favorite variety of BS. Whingy find the P type of BS most annoying and useful for emptying domicile of houseguests!

After Whingy successfully remove domestic interlopers one evening, he see Pa-Chi appear on television screen. She was not prepared sufficiently. So when big weather map start swirling she smile with trepidation, point to coastline and say: “Look OC residents! More weather coming to you! What do you care what kind of weather it is anyway? You are rich! You are not picking vegetables. You even have air conditioning ventricles in back seat of Mercedes. So have a nice day!”

Whingy realize Pa-Chi was mate of soul and so instigated introduction at PBS telephone money-requesting festival. Now Whingy and Pa-Chi date with regularity and postulate combining furniture in single location.

For Whingy and Pa-Chi, weather is now always sunny—even when wet!

~ Whingy Illustration by Henrik Drescher
© All Rights Reserved