Whingy Bits!

I cannot annoy some people all of the time, but with Wide World Web I can annoy you immediately!

Me Make Joke:

What you call unsticky Post-It Notes? Post-It Nots? Ha, ha, ha – I pretend to laugh now.

Me Make Mistake:

When Whingy monohabitate in China, neighborlies escort personal bird companions to park space and hang cages in trees for avian socialization. Whingy once take macaw to dog park in error where bird escape and bite schnauzer tail! Grabbing dog to rotate angry canine in circle cause parkgoer consternation and loss of feathers.

Power of Positivity:

Imagine now you are no longer stupid! You are finally not thinking of sex or cow steaks or greenbacks or other personal aggrandizements so frequent in urban wasteland.

Personal Insult Advice:

When next you portend to emasculate yuppie complaining about lengthy supermarket line, say: “You sound like Chinese baby fish!”

How To Be Happy:

Humor come from blat of soul! On road to humorosity, first come annoyance! Execute hammering of dish plates to clear mental distraction. Enlightenment follows like happy bovine with vegeteranian master!

Whingy Proverb:

Do not varnish chicken when egg has shell.

Why It’s Whingy and not Whingey:

Superfluous “e” once employed by dishonored great-grandfather who was notorious carp poacher operating with expired carp encapture license. Whingy escape shame of ancestor by ex-spelling “e” in spelling.

Walt Whingy Whitman:

As poetry master Walt Whitman Sampler say: “Do I contradict myself? Yes, I contradict myself! So what!”

~ Whingy Illustration by Henrik Drescher
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