Whingy In A Dinghy!

D ue to unpopular demand, I now reveal some personal origin:

I was always born Whingy Singh Chow-stok Whang in country not unlike China on fish wharf with no cheese. Always water growing up. So when I become twenty age, I go on water to America! Land of cheese! At homeplace we many times view water dreaming of American cheese-eaters. So finally at last already I get on tiny floaty thing to cross liquid in search of green statue lady with torch.

Soon, bouncy water make me sick. So what! Or maybe too much bad squid in lunch hamper? I try to catch fish with net but not quick enough, so Whingy announce: “Here litty fishy thing! Jump into net! Uncle Whingy have surprise!”

Large fish spit at Whingy causing humiliation so I hit fish on head with board from boat. Whingy belatedly realize mistake of dismembering part of dinghy in fish-provoked anger. After sinking, no more boat, only board. If not for nearby jumbo cruise ship Whingy not be typing or breathing now.

On way to New Pork City Whingy make passengers happy with laughter at food tossing dance. But Whingy not like New Porkers so I bus to Lost Anglo-Saxons in Calipornia and work like pig dog for Burgler King.

Hey Burgler King! If yours is Home Of Whoppler, where do frenchy fries sleep?

~ Whingy Illustration by Henrik Drescher
© All Rights Reserved

Whingy Not In A Dinghy!

N ot many moons encirculate when I deduct my work job at Burgler King depend on slaughter of innocent bovines!

What is this? You employ Cows for Whopplers? Why not kangaroo like many Calipornia fast food omnibuses? Did you run out of dog?

“I must depart hastily,” I announce to soupervisor. "Deactivate my W-2!"

Whingy owe supreme state of annoying bliss to Cow. I learn from Cow how chewing is font of contentmentalment.

To emulate wise Cows on grassyland I obtain non-oval pink gum Bazooka package for cow-cud-like happy thought chewing enjoyment time!

Not only is gum gum, but gum escorted by Bazooka Joe installment on wax for no surcharge unclothing secrets only to brainy gum enthusiasts.

~ Whingy Illustration by Henrik Drescher
© All Rights Reserved